There is no other way to say this. I’ve thought about it and I can’t come up with anything better. So I’m just going to have to blurt it out.
ON SATURDAY I WAS IN CHICAGO WITH MY VERY BEST FRIEND AND WE WERE IN BANANA REPUBLIC AND I MET TOM HANKS!!
I couldn’t have casually told a story of how we were at Water Tower, and then went to Bloomingdales, and then went to lunch on the 95th floor of the John Hancock Building, and then went BACK to Bloomingdales, and then weÂ decided to go to the Adidas store at Water Tower but at the last minute my very best friend suggested we go into Banana Republic and then I got lost in a pile of sweaters. And then I found out they were men’s sweaters. So then I was directed to the back of the store where the women’s sweaters are.
And then my very best friend was all: Kim. Kim. KIM. KIM. KIM. KIIIIIMMMMM!
And was all: What?
And then she talked to me with her jaw clenched shut and didn’t move her lips the entire time. I could not understand a word she was saying.
Me: Are you kidding me?
And then I dropped my piles of sweaters and scurried over to the register area.
HOLY COW. She was not kidding me! There was Tom Hanks, leaning up against the counter, while Rita Wilson was busy looking for something –Â I think. We wandered over to a table and had a fake conversation about a sweater. I think I may have picked up a hat and tried it on my hand. It was so lame.
Me: Do you think IÂ should talk to him?
Her: No way. Leave him alone.
And then what did I do? I moved out of the way so Rita could get around me and thenÂ made a beeline to Mr. Hanks.
No one else in the store seemed to even notice that an Oscar winning actor was in the store! Therefore, I felt that I should at the very least respect his privacy and not say something like: Mr. Hanks! Lovely to meet you! I’m a HUGE fan!!! Can I get a picture? Autograph? Loved you in at least a zillion movies! So …. Coco hey?
Instead IÂ said, “Excuse me, I loved you on Conan!”
And then I went back to my sweater pile.