Outside My Head » family

15 chickens, 1 month, dozens of eggs

Kimberly — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 02:03:28 +0000

Zoe: How many eggs are in an egg carton?

Me: A dozen.

Zoe: How many is a dozen?

Little did I know she was about to ask me one of my least favorite things — a word math problem.

Zoe: If I had 15 chickens and each chicken laid one egg a day for a month, how many egg cartons would I need?

(And then she threw a zinger at me.)

AND have two eggs left.

What?!

First of all, I don’t even know if it’s a 28 day, 30 day, or 31 day month. And then she wants to have two eggs left over.

Whose kid do I have??

Some weird amount of savings

Kimberly — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 16:39:26 +0000

The following is a word-for-word transcript of the voicemail I received from my 16 year old nephew, Connor. His mother and my other other nephew, Ian, were giving him pointers of what to say in the background, which I did NOT include in the transcription.

Hey, Auntie Kim, this is uh, Connor, um calling to see if you’d be wondering … uuuuhhhhh, calling to see if you’d be interested in buying …. ahhhh … Entertainment Book to support Rufus King Cross Country for $35, it has some weird amount of savings you can get if you use all the coupons and — Ian’s telling me the facts right now I didn’t listen — there’s like $20 worth of gift cards on the front or something … if you, like, Facebook me, or something, I can give you detailed info. Yeeaaaahhhhh.

So what do you think? Should I buy one, use all of the coupons, and get some weird amount of savings?

Connor, Jeff (my brother, their dad), and Ian

She’s no Corey Hart

Kimberly — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 14:00:25 +0000

It’s safe to say that my daughter has spent a great deal of her summer at Miller Park watching baseball. I’m pretty sure she understands the game, and if there is one goal that she has it’s to catch a fly ball.

This week she’s in baseball camp at the YMCA. She was told to bring a hat, baseball glove, and a bat. She has all three. When I picked her up at camp Monday night she immediately told me that she can’t use her bat. What? And then she casually told me it’s because it’ll break in half if she uses it.

Oh yes. The kids at camp have her convinced that if she hits the ball with her wooden bat it’ll break. IN HALF.

I directed her to her father who assured her that it WOULD NOT BREAK IN HALF, but she’s still not convinced and left the bat in my car this morning.

Okay, stay with me here because I’m about to do something that could be confused for math.

We’ve been to 11 Brewers games this year, if each are nine innings long and each inning has on average six batters (times two because each team has to bat), that comes to 1188 times that we’ve seen a professional baseball player up to bat. There has only been a handful of times where the bat has broken upon hitting the ball.

I’m willing to say that the chances of her catching a fly ball at the Brewers game is greater than of her hitting the ball and breaking her bat. Don’t you agree?