Glitterpalooza

Date: 2009.07.31 | Category: the kid | Tags:

On Tuesday nights I go to a vinyasa yoga class, and it’s best to practice yoga on an empty stomach so I usually don’t eat dinner until close to 8:30 p.m. and then the rest  night is usually a rush when I get home. It’s the price I pay to go to one of the best yoga classes of the week.

So here’s what happened on Tuesday night. I get home, Zoe’s had a friend over and they’ve played in her bedroom with Lego’s. I scarfed down some dinner, I don’t even remember what it was, possibly toast, and then I sit down to watch Big Brother with my husband. 9 p.m. rolls around, the show is over, it’s time for Zoe to go to bed, and now is when I take my first step into her bedroom.

There are Lego’s all over the place.

Here’s the thing about the Lego’s. Zoe is the fifth kid to have these Lego’s. They used to be my brother’s, he was the original owner. He had enough Lego’s to fit into a good sized desk drawer. Seriously, that is where he kept them. The second owner of the Lego’s was my cousin, Big Ian. We call him Big Ian so that there isn’t any confusion between him and my nephew, Little Ian. ANYWAYS. Big Ian took that Lego collection and then he multiplied it exponentially. The third and fourth owner’s were my nephew’s, Little Ian and Connor. Trust me, they added to the Lego’s too.

Zoe is now the owner of the Lego’s and there are six huge plastic bins, approximately 12×12x18″, FULL OF LEGO’S. My brother and I once weighed a bin of Lego’s. It was 30 pounds.

30 x 6 = 180 pounds of Lego’s.

On my daughter’s bedroom floor.

So I tell her to pick up Lego’s and she starts to make excuses as to WHY she thought they were already picked up. And I don’t really care, I just want them picked up.

I start to help her pick up the Lego’s and find —  oh what’s this?? – there is pink Silly Putty stuck to her white carpet. I couldn’t get the Silly Putty off to save my life so I decided to leave it.  After all the Lego’s are picked up and stored away in their bins, I notice a jar of Fairy Dust Glitter is on her bed, and I also notice that the remaining Silly Putty has a bit of a glittery glow. Zoe put the Silly Putty into a small snack sized plastic bag and then I set both the Glitter and Silly Putty on her desk, which is on the other side of her bedroom.

She gets all tucked in, I turn out the lights, turn on her bedtime music and say goodnight.

At this point I’m heading to take a shower. I’m still all sweaty from yoga, and it’s now close to 9:30 p.m.

Just then, Zoe comes out of the bedroom, and she’s crying.

This is what I reported on Facebook:

My kid, who is supposed to be in bed, just dumped a bottle of fairy dust glitter in her bedroom. It looks like a fairy exploded in there! Everything is sparkly. Can I just have a moment of peace? One moment?

First Lego’s, then Silly Putty, and now it’s Fairy Dust Glitter. She was trying to pour the glitter into the small plastic snack sized bag. Why? Because she’s a kid.

The result was that Zoe was covered in glitter, so I asked her to change her pajamas and then go get her hands washed. In the meantime I ran for my Dyson so I could control the glitter as much as possible. She once used my makeup brushes to apply this glitter on herself, I sparkled for days.

Did she change her pajamas and wash her hands while I was gone for the nano-second? Did she? Noooooooooooooooo.

Instead she took the opportunity to swipe her hand over the layer of glitter that was on her desk and her chair. I now had airborne Fairy Dust Glitter.

I did my best to vacuum up the mess. Zoe started to cry when I tucked her back into bed and I told her that there were worse things she could have spilled all over her bedroom.

She nodded and said, “Like ketchup.”

And my brain cannot even process trying to clean up ketchup.

© 2009, Outside My Head. All rights reserved.