Posts Tagged ‘family’

• Some weird amount of savings

  Date: 2010.08.24 | Category: family | Response: 6

  The following is a word-for-word transcript of the voicemail I received from my 16 year old nephew, Connor. His mother and my other other nephew, Ian, were giving him pointers of what to say in the background, which I did NOT include in the transcription.

  Hey, Auntie Kim, this is uh, Connor, um calling to see if you’d be wondering … uuuuhhhhh, calling to see if you’d be interested in buying …. ahhhh … Entertainment Book to support Rufus King Cross Country for $35, it has some weird amount of savings you can get if you use all the coupons and —   Ian’s telling me the facts right now I didn’t listen — there’s like $20 worth of gift cards on the front or something … if you, like, Facebook me, or something, I can give you detailed info. Yeeaaaahhhhh.

  So what do you think? Should I buy one, use all of the coupons, and get some weird amount of savings?

  

  Connor, Jeff (my brother, their dad), and Ian

• She’s no Corey Hart

  Date: 2010.08.17 | Category: Sports, the kid | Response: 2

  It’s safe to say that my daughter has spent a great deal of her summer at Miller Park watching baseball. I’m pretty sure she understands the game, and if there is one goal that she has it’s to catch a fly ball.

  This week she’s in baseball camp at the YMCA. She was told to bring a hat, baseball glove, and a bat. She has all three. When I picked her up at camp Monday night she immediately told me that she can’t use her bat. What? And then she casually told me it’s because it’ll break in half if she uses it.

  Oh yes. The kids at camp have her convinced that if she hits the ball with her wooden bat it’ll break. IN HALF.

  I directed her to her father who assured her that it WOULD NOT BREAK IN HALF, but she’s still not convinced and left the bat in my car this morning.

  Okay, stay with me here because I’m about to do something that could be confused for math.

  We’ve been to 11 Brewers games this year, if each are nine innings long and each inning has on average six batters (times two because each team has to bat), that comes to 1188 times that we’ve seen a professional baseball player up to bat. There has only been a handful of times where the bat has broken upon hitting the ball.

  I’m willing to say that the chances of her catching a fly ball at the Brewers game is greater than of her hitting the ball and breaking her bat. Don’t you agree?

• Why would someone steal his underwear?

  Date: 2010.08.12 | Category: family | Response: 5

  My husband works downtown and during his lunch hour he walks to the downtown YMCA to work out. He’s in a corporate job, and while he doesn’t have to wear a suit and a tie, he does have to look presentable. Yesterday he went to the YMCA, worked out, and when he came back to his locker he found it was completely empty. Not a thing in it.

  Now, if you’ve ever met my husband you will agree with me when I say that he is high strung. His glass is rarely half full, and if you press him he will tell you that his glass is not only empty, it’s shattered into bits and pieces and you’ll never be able to fill his glass again.

  I can only imagine the freaking out that was going on while he paced the men’s locker room, trying to determine just where his clothes were. And how he was going to spend the rest of his day at work in his sweaty shorts and t-shirt.  Somewhere in his thought process he came to this: Why would someone steal his underwear?

  When the locker room attendant came along with a master key he found his clothes were actually in the next locker over. It seems that he put his stuff in an open locker, just assuming it was the locker he had a key for.

  Oops.

• She’s baaaaack!

  Date: 2010.08.09 | Category: the kid | Response: 0

  

• Farmer Brown went to summer camp

  Date: 2010.08.03 | Category: the kid | Response: 0

  My kid, the farmer, is away at camp all week and she’s left me in charge of her farm on my iPad. I was given specific instructions on when to water her rice: on Monday and Thursday. And that I can only sell two animals at a time, although I’m not sure where to go to sell the animals.

  Instead I’m going to give them all a bubble bath and dry them off using the good towels. Then we are ordering pizza and watching movies. Perhaps The Sound of Moooo-sic. I might even teach the Duck how to type.